You Know You're Addicted To The Internet When...

~You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ......instead of ICU!
~You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
~You placed the refrigerator beside your computer...or put it in the bathroom.
~You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.
~Tech support calls YOU for help.
~You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
~You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
~You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
~You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
~You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
~You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.
~You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
~You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
~You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.
~You say......."Where did the time go??"
~You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.
~You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
~You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
~You need to be pried from your computer by the jaws-of-life.
~Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB. Leave your S/N and I'll TTYL...ASAP".
~You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ****kisses*****.
~Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.
~You're on the phone and say "BRB".
~Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood-shot eyes.
~You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead.
~The only jokes you receive are through email.
~Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
~You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
~You have more friends on the internet than in real life.
~Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
~Your four basic food groups are:
1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate
~You try to enter your password on the microwave.
~You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"
~You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
~You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a Web page.
~Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.