Funny Away Messages

~Hey, im not here right now, but u can call me on my cell phone. dial 911, and the rest will automatically dial.
~I am sorry, I am not here in either a physical or mental state, if you would like to reach me please leave a message after the beep...BEEP!
~I'm busy for a few minutes leave a message if you know me, leave two if you like me, leave three if you love me thanks bye
~I'm tryin to find my way to the end of the rainbow
~Beleeve it or not i am aktually at klass tyring two git meself en edumacation.....lev a msage :-)
I'm out looking for the biggest building in NYC to throw off the people who annoy me most. Talk later. :-)
~I am writing a paper. . . in other words, trying to throw together some bullsh*t and still get a good grade.
~hi, im sorry im not here right now to take your message. If youd like to leave a message please press 2, then 4, the 345 then type ¤.üÊz-¡«µ¿ÍÆ¢ò¦ôÄ
bark like a dog, spin in a circle and say please wioht cherries on top then waaaiiit for the beep.
~I'm really here..probubly sitting right in front of the computer right this minute..as you read this...but see, I juz wanted to have an away message for the h ell of it..no reason juz cause thatz what crackheadz do..we do sh*t that makez people wish they were us..or wish we would get therapy..one or the other...
~Im in the shower. I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit
~I've fallen into the 4th dimension again, dang..leave a message..
~I mite be around here somewhere..but at the moment I'm daydreaming about (name)..I'll have to talk to you later..
~I'll be back when I can get my head from between the rail in my stair case
~I gotz tha munchies...so I'm eating rite now..be back when my frige iz empty..
~I'm not here, I've gone out to look for myself. If I come back before I return, please tell me to wait..
~I'm away right now, searching for my mind. i was told it wuz lost.
~I'm away from my desk rite now. I'm not too far from it, though. So if you yell really loud into your monitor I might be able to hear you!...If not, I'll be right back.