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Here are some really good things u should read....
abortion
I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus's lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl. I dont quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along im my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much, One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldnt imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that war, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldnt anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arm off, It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didnt stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldnt; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didnt know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say then; I was dead. I felt myself rising, I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered. "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."I dont know what abortion is; I guess thats the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldnt; the monster was too powerful. It s-u-c-k-ed my arm and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know that I tried to stay with you, I didnt want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.
Love, Your Baby girl
blondes fight back
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb...
cheater
Two young men applied for an engineering position. The two applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the second of the two and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other final applicant. The rejected applicant said, "And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. May I ask what made you decide to take the other applicant given the same qualifications and the same scores on the test?"
"We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," the officious manager insisted.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" asked the rejected applicant.
"Simple, the other applicant answered, "I don't know" on question #5. You put down, "Neither do I."
Kids' Instructions On Life
Never trust a dog to watch your food. --Patrick, Age 10
When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. --Matthew, Age 12
Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. --Andrew, Age 9
Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. --Rocky, Age 9
Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning. --Stephanie, Age 8
Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. --Rosemary, Age 7
Don't flush the toilet when you dad's in the shower. --Lamar, Age 10
Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes. --Carrol, Age 9
Never bug a pregnant mom. --Nicholas, Age 11
Don't ever be too full for dessert. --Kelly, Age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. --Heather, Age 16
Never tell your mom her diet's not working. --Michael, Age 14
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. --Joel, Age 12
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. --Alyesha, Age 13
Never try to baptize a cat. --Laura, Age 13
Never spit when on a roller coaster. --Scott, Age 11
Never do pranks at a police station. --Sam, Age 10
Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving. --Rob, Age 10
Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do. --Hank, Age 12
Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand. --Molly, Age 11
Listen to your brain. It has lots of information. --Chelsey, Age 7
Stay away from prunes. --Randy, Age 9
dare your little brother to paint the family car. --Pillip, Age 13
Forget the cake. Go for the icing! --Cynthia, Age 8
LOVE QUIZ
This is cool, check it out, and answer truthfully. Don't look at the answers before hand! write down your answers on a seperate piece of paper.
1.) You are walking to your boy/girlfriend's house. There are two roads to get there. One is a straight path to take you there quickly, but it is very plain and boring. The other is significantly longer but is full of wonderful sights and interesting things. Which one do you take to get to your significant other's house, short or long?
2.) On the way you see two rose bushes. One is full of red roses, the other full of white. You decide to pick 20 roses for your boyfriend/girlfriend of any color combination. What number of white and red do you pick? (you can pick all of one or any combo of the two).
3.) You finally get to their house. A family member answers the door. You can have them get your boy/girlfriend or go get them yourself. Which do you do?
4.) You go up to your boy/girlfriend's room, but nobody is there. You decide to leave the roses. Do you leave them by the window or on the bed?
5.) Later, it's time for bed. You and your boy/girlfriend go to sleep in separate rooms. In the morning when it's time to wake up you go in his/her room and check on him/her. When you arrive, is he/she awake or asleep?
6.) Now it's time to go back home. Do you take the short, plain road or the longer, more interesting road?
Now the answers.
1.) The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. If you take the short road, you fall in love quickly & easily. If you take the long road, you take your time and do not fall in love as easily.
2.) The number of red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of white represents what you expect in return. For example, if you chose 18 red and 2 white, you give 90% and expect 10% in return.
3.)This question represents your attitude towards handling relationship problems. If you asked the family member to get your significant other, then you like to avoid problems and hope that they will solve themselves. If you went to get him/her yourself, then you are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately.
4.) The placement of roses determines how much you like to see your boy/girlfriend. Placing them on the bed means you like to see them a lot, while placing them on the windows will mean that you are alright with not seeing them as much.
5.) This represents your attitude towards their personality. If you find him/her asleep, you love your boy/girlfriend the way he/she is. If you find him/her awake, you expect them to change for you.
6.) The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone. If you chose the short road, you fall out of love easily. if you chose the longer one, you will tend to stay in love for a long time.
Play Ball
A doctor at an insane asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!" And they all sat. After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers. Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened. The assistant replied, "Everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!"
Why gurls like guys
01.)They always wear your favorite cologne (which happenes to be the one that you bought them for their birthday.)
02.)The way they run their fingers through your hair.
03.)That look they give you that makes you just want to die right then and there.
04.)The way they kiss away your tears.
05.)The way they get mad when they can't make your problem go away.
06.)The way they show off round their friends, even though you now you would love him if he missed a basket or two.
07.)The way they make it their personal mission to ensure that you are never cold.
08.)That confused look they get on their faces when you are mad at them-guaranteed to make your heart melt and the anger fade away.
09.)The way they always let you win any game you play together.
10.). . .And when you point this out to them they pretend not to know what you are talking about.
11.)That smile they flash that can make your stomach drop to your feet.
12.)The way they call to apologize after you had a big fight.
13.)The way they touch and hold you so gently, as if they are afraid they will break you.
14.)The way they say, "I love you."
15.)The way they would die before saying "I love you" in front of his friends.
16.)The way they kiss you.
17.)The way they kiss you after making up from a fight.
18.)The way they hold you when you are crying.
19.)The way they think they are your big protector.
20.)The way they say "I miss you" even though they hate to admit it.
21.)The way you miss everything about them when they are gone.
22.)The way they comfort you when you have had a bad day.
23.)The way they write you love letters even if they think it's uncool.
24.)Regardless of whether you love them, hate them,wish they would die or know that you would die without them...it matters not. Because once they enter your life, whatever you were to the world, they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes,traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million thinks without even speaking, you know that your own life is consumed by their love.We love them for a million reasons;it is a think, an indescribable feeling.
The birth of candy
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my Big Hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker and Krackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, "Oh your Crackerjack tastes better than the Three Musketeer's!" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden...my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped.........Baby Ruth!
Mommy
Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did
What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's,
I even got the gold!
But Mommy, when I went school that day,
I never said good-bye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go,
But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun,
He hit me and another,
And all because of Jonny,
Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy;
That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend;
That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister;
That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother;
I'll by waiting for her now,
And tell my wonderful friends;
That they always were the best;
Mommy, I'm not the first,
I'm no better than the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers;
I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this,
And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me?
No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others,
Mommy I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors;
I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor,
Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying,
With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember,
I'm in heaven with the rest.
Mommy I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack,
Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I'm not coming back.
I wanted to go to college,
I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married,
I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress,
Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now,
The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my boyfriend,
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have,
I know; you know it's true, And Mommy all I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you."
 he 10 Commandments of a Teenager
1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.... why wait??
2. Thou shall not do drugs.... alcohol lasts longer!
3. Thou shall not steal from K-mart.... Wal-mart has a better selection...
4. Thou shall not get arrested for vandalism.... destruction has a bigger effect...
5. Thou shall not steal from thy parents.... everyone knows that grandma has more money!
6. Thou shall not get in fights.... just start them...
7. Thou shall not skip class... .just take the whole day off
8. Thou shall not strip in class.... hooters pays more...
9. Thou shall not think about having sex.... as nike says just do it...
10. Thou shall not help old ladies cross the street.... just leave them in the middle! |
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